So, how am I abusing my television? Well, let me put it this way, I like to yell at the digital people on the screen… a lot… and very loud… sometimes, I think they can actually hear me. My voice and reactions must carry through the wonderland of audio and video frequencies… I whole heartedly believe that! I don’t yell and scream at the real people in my life, why do I yell at digital representations of people on my television? If I was the only one that does this, I might feel a bit weird, or maybe even crazy. But, I KNOW I’m not the only one who EXPECTS the people inside the television to hear and obey the screams of those watching.

And so, I abuse my television, it carries the weight of this burden quite well. It has yet to talk back to me and it never fails to turn on. It must be a glutton for punishment because if I listened to how I talk to it (and I’m using talk very loosely here), I would have up and blown my picture tube a long time ago. I would have ceased to recognize the remote control signals and simply sit there doing absolutely nothing. Yep, that’s what I would do quite honestly. I’m sure glad my television doesn’t have any artificial intelligence at all.

Not only do I scream at the video game people, but I yell at people playing the variety of sports that I watch. How can they make such lousy plays when they’ve been playing these sports for the vast majority of their living and breathing life? Shouldn’t they be nearly unstoppable in every facet of their sport after practicing for nearly 20 years and being paid to do it to boot? From missed free throws to missed bunts to missing their pit in the race… how can it be done?

In reality, these people DESERVE to be yelled at and yelled at VERY loudly. Not only are they making their team cover for their mistakes, but they are affecting millions of people watching their performance. Yes, they should EXPECT to get yelled at… I would because I yell at myself for making the teams I’m involved with cover for my mistakes. Yes, not only do I yell at the video games and sports people on television, but I actually yell at and abuse myself.

I hope you guys don’t think I like yelling at things that don’t talk back… I don’t exactly like it. It’s just something that is built into my emotional state of being. I like to yell at inanimate things because I believe they actually enjoy making me mad enough to do it. Why else do some of the most unbelievable things happen while I’m watching? I honestly believe that if I’m not watching, things are absolutely perfect and nothing goes wrong… but when I tune in or play the game, the entire world comes crashing down in front of me just to see how loud I can yell or how high I can make my blood pressure go.

Even though I recognize that these objects in my life simply cannot hear me, I will continue to express my dissatisfaction with them by yelling, screaming, and generally hating every lasting minute of their existence until they succumb to my every beck and call. So, television, I know I’m a bit crazy, but you will continue to hear my yells. Sports people… you also will continue to be berated by my maniacal tirades at your incompetence. And I haven’t even mentioned the tools in my life… they probably deserve their own article.

So, join me in my abuse of inanimate objects… let’s show them who the boss is! I’ll guarantee you that I’ll do my part!

My first inclination was to think that a drama comedy movie couldn’t be done, that it would only result in a half hearted attempt at a true drama or a true comedy. I thought the competing opposites would pull at each other leaving nothing more than a tattered mess of a movie. Well, to be honest, the movie itself wasn’t good and I didn’t get any of the “comedy” in it but I was left thinking. No, I wasn’t thinking about the movie, but the genre. Something about it kept pulling at my thoughts.

As I kept pondering over the term “drama comedy” in my mind, I eventually came to a conclusion… an epiphany of sorts. While trying to reconcile how these two seemingly opposites were paired together, I came to realize that our real lives are in fact, a drama comedy. Real life equals drama comedy. My days come and go and each is filled with their own distinct moments. These moments can consist of absolute hilarity and at the exact same time, be ultra dramatic events.

Our individual lives are the human interest stories. Drama is our daily life and comedic interventions occur on a routine basis. What initially began as an idea to write an article about how a drama comedy story could not be a viable product, I was left facing the fact that our real lives are described exactly this way. I like it when things turn out differently than expected. It adds a sense of randomness, and even comedy, to our lives.

Comedy does not have to mean laughing out loud behavior or hilarious moments. Comedy can come in the form of a comedic intervention… an instant break from the drama which allows us to function under distress. Sometimes, the comedy in our lives can be nothing more than a thought, or a look on someone’s face, or an action we see or do… it can be anything that alters the situation and provides us relief.

Do you view your life as a drama comedy? Should we interchange the words and label our lives a comedy drama? One pairing assumes drama as the dominant factor and the other, comedy. I think our lives are being consumed by drama these days with too little comedy. Our society is wrapped up in our economic worries, our political worries, our educational worries, our financial worries… drama has all but overcome the comedy of our lives. Just as the movie, a drama comedy without the comedy isn’t any good. A life of drama without comedy is not fruitful. We must find a way to reverse the trend and start living the comedy drama lives we used to have.

Personally, I’ve found the drama overwhelming my life. It’s an easy thing to do when we are inundated with negativity in our lives. What we can focus upon though is our family, our relationships, and our spirituality to return the comedy back into our lives. Without comedy, is a life of drama worth what you are giving up? Find comedy in your life and reclaim the joy of living a comedy drama.

Recently, I decided to rent the movie “The Strangers.” One of its calling cards was the “inspired by true events” label. The Strangers is a suspense driven look into two people’s lives that were terrorized by three masked intruders and eventually murdered. The movie does a great job creating and stirring your fear by drawing you into the situation as if you were there with the innocent victims. At each turn, you are left with a question of “What would you do” or “How would you react?” “Knowing” the story was inspired by true events, you are connected with the victims. You are feeling their fear, their suspense, and their dread of the unknown outside the door. In a sense, you become the victim of the event.

Feeling impressed by the movie and sitting in wonderment about the true life event, I decided to hit the internet and do some research on the actual events the movie was based upon. I wanted to know more about the victims and find out if the murderers were ever identified or caught (the movie implied they were going to victimize other innocents in the future). Expecting to find some criminal reports or similarity to a crime report, what I found was completely unexpected.

While the movie was established as being “inspired by true events,” the true events were actually fiction. The entire movie was a farce, not a single moment of truth. It turned out to be a random work of fiction from a writer who was inspired by a childhood event which was in fact, nothing like the movie. While the movie focuses upon a completely random murder event involving a couple in a remote area, the true events came from the director’s childhood. As a child, someone came to his house asking for a person that did not live there. He later found out other houses in the neighborhood had been robbed. The people were checking for empty houses to rob…

No murders, no couple, no true event here. The directory has blatantly utilized the true event tagline to drive people to his movie. While being a great marketing tool, it left me feeling a backlash of resentment towards the director. Why resort to such deceitfulness over something so trivial? The movie was good without the moniker of “inspired by true events.” It was unnecessary to throw in the inspired statement. The movie would have worked with or without it.

But now, knowing that I’ve been “duped” by this movie maker, I feel a bit used by him. I know that Hollywood takes liberties when dealing with true story events and they often fictionalize them up in an effort to add entertainment value, but this was blatant disregard for the event in itself. There was zero true event reality with this story. It’s fine to make a movie, but to try and “Blair Witch” the public is a coward’s way out in an effort to make some money.

The Strangers was a very good movie, but know this, it’s a fiction story inspired by a screenwriter trying to make a buck.

Not long ago, Today was fairly well respected and their hosts performed several pertinent interviews with heads of state, high ranking officials, and many other people who have impacted our country through the news. Now, we get interviews with socialites, actors promoting movies, authors promoting books, and just the general topic of the day or “National Enquirer” type news. This week, our country’s economic crisis has been the number one factor weighing on our collective conscience. On top of that, the final Presidential debate was scheduled and held midweek.

Well, I’ll give it to Today, they did interview the Treasury Secretary in a much needed look into the government’s stance on our economic condition… for all of about two minutes. What other pressing news relegated this particular interview to such a minimal effort? Try a “major event” involving one of the Flying Wallendas performing a death defying stunt live on The Today Show. I gave up counting the minutes attributed to this breaking news story which put to shame the importance of our economic crisis not to mention the Presidential debate later that evening.

I know television shows need ratings and there usually isn’t enough news to fill three hours of time with specific and important information. But, when did The Today Show become NBC’s version of E!? I’m sick and tired of actors hocking their latest movie on the show, listening to socialites speak about their lives, and hearing nonsense interviews with the latest 15 minutes of fame people. If The Today Show had access to the Treasury Secretary, they should have appropriated more time for such an important segment of the show. Sure, they gave the debate some minor attention, but just enough to say they did.

I guess I just have higher standards associated with The Today Show than they do for themselves. In the past, I remember Bryant Gumbel interviewing sitting Presidents, Prime Ministers, etc. I remember Katie Couric doing several important interviews. Matt Lauer has even had his fair share. However, for every one of those segments these days, we are treated with a multitude of interviews with Paris Hilton talking about her latest “funny or die” video. Or we are treated with an interview about the latest Harry Potter book. We are even given special access to gourmet chefs and cooks so we can work on some great recipes for our family.

How do these subjects fit together: interviews with heads of state, actor interviews pitching their latest movie, authors hocking their latest book, concerts featuring the latest music releases, record setting events, cooking segments, and general news reporting? That is the state of The Today Show these days. It’s a smorgasbord of bullet point information. I said information, not news.

If they want a “Regis and Kathie Lee” show, then do a talk show. Stop trying to keep the “rep” up by trying to look important with sparse amounts of important interviews which are given miniscule time segments. Maybe I’m expecting too much out of the show, but when you have the public’s attention and are given special access to important guests who have important information regarding critical issues, they should be given the primary time slots and catered too.

I’m still in awe that I know more about the Flying Wallendas than I do about what the Treasury Secretary is doing to help our country’s economic crisis. They had him in person, in an interview, and gave him two minutes… sad and with a complete lack of direction. The Today Show has deteriorated into the Oprah show of the morning.

We make up our own minds right? Yes, of course, someone else cannot think and make decisions for us. But, our experiences learned via our interaction with our environment can create situations where the outcome can be predetermined by an individual successfully playing the game of body language, signaling, and inserting subliminal cues into the equation. A simple example of our environment training us is shown during a trip to the local cinema. Commercials run continuously displaying popcorn, soda, and treats prior to the flick and our mouths start to water. Most of us who have any experience going to movies know to buy the appropriate “meal” before entering the seating area because we have been taught that popcorn and soda complete the movie experience. Next time you go to the theater, watch the amount of waste that is thrown away as the customers leave. It is simply amazing. Did they really want it or were they cued and taught to purchase it?

It’s a pretty simple concept. Insert enough cues into the environment and over time, the wanted outcome will eventually happen at a high rate. We are still making the decisions, but our past experience is guiding and weighting the decision due to external factors. Simply put, we are being led to a decision expected by the entity inserting the environmental cues. People and businesses utilize these extremely effective maneuvers to gain an advantage in many situations. I recently read a report on MSNBC featuring two body language experts detailing how you can utilize signals and cues to get “what you want” in life, work, or even in romance. Subtle information at times, even if you’re on the lookout for decision altering cues, can be missed and results in our mind interpreting these signals and thus motivating our decision.

The body language experts provide a few examples of how signals can affect how people think and react. To be viewed as a team player at work, hang up a picture or two of a pet in your cubicle or office. They say people view a pet loving person as loyal. Another example they cite involves creating an aura of power at work. They suggest wearing black outfits because black has been shown to display dominance. Another point they make is to try not and smile as much as you would like. By keeping a neutral face, they say it indicates power and status in the work place. One last tidbit they offer is to offer your boss a hot cup of coffee and engage in a conversation while the boss happily drinks down his morning “wake me up.” Our body language experts inform us that the warm temperature of the drink permeating through the cup and through their body while drinking correlates to us being a warm and likeable person (I personally think this one is a little skewed by the kiss-butt factor).

As you can see, these are very subtle cues within our environment. Over time, we are trained to react to specific cues in a manner which can be predicted. No, it doesn’t work in every situation, but the frequency in which they do is worth the bother to incorporate some of the information body language “experts” suggest. Another simple example of body language carrying subliminal motivation is readily apparent in how our politicians gesture when they are speaking publicly. Next time you watch Obama or McCain speaking to a crowd, watch their hand gestures. Their mannerisms are specifically trained so the public feels “better” when listening to them. Similar to when you speak to someone, you want them to listen intently to you. You want them to be leaning towards you, hanging on your words, not leaning back in a bored state of mind. Our politicians move their arms and hands around while walking around the stage to generate a specific reaction from those who are listening. Anyone remember the Bill Clinton closed hand pump with his thumb over his index finger while speaking? Research that for some interesting homework.

Our environment plays a large part in our decision making, whether we are specifically cognizant of the fact or not. Our minds and bodies have been trained to assimilate data and our responses are generally the same and can be predicted over time. Yes, we are trained like puppies to a certain extent. We like to think we are in control of every single second of our decision making when it comes to our lives, but in reality, we have quite a bit of help. Some of that help comes from people who are intentionally manipulating the environment to create the outcome they wish. Beware of your surroundings and environment, you will begin to notice more and more how your decisions are being affected. You will also spot those who are playing the game for their best interests. Take some time and learn their tricks and turn the tables. Take back a portion of your decision making and throw a wrench into the plans of those who are trying to manipulate your decisions.

Citation: http://www.msnbc.com/

Bill, our down and out “hero,” has a moment in the movie where he expounds to his student about how (and I’m paraphrasing here) “if you work for someone else your entire life, eventually, all you will care about in the end is the paycheck because work sucks.” I’m pretty sure every generation of our existence has come to believe that for the most part, work does suck. We are constantly told from a very young age, find something you love to do, figure out a way to make money doing that, and you will be happy. However, the real world exists and not fantasy island. As rational human beings, the great majority of us in this life are destined to work and make a living doing something we do not particularly love because we must support our life and/or family. Doing what we love doesn’t necessarily offer the best monetary rewards.

Sure, there are those lucky individuals in our society who have hit their niche and uncovered a goldmine of riches because of their persistence and focus on their true talent and ability. For every one of those, there are hundreds if not thousands of us who never reach that point of perpetual bliss. What differentiates those who “succeed” and those who are left working in a less than ideal job for the rest of their lives? Not much. There are some key ingredients of course that must happen for the possibility to even exist. Among those are: timing, perseverance and persistence, sacrifice, faith, and of course, luck. Without these key ingredients, the opportunity cannot exist. While some people may be lucky enough to have their fortune seemingly “drop into their lap,” the rest of us must actually apply the above ingredients to change our way of life. You may be thinking I am missing the most important ingredient of all, money. Sometimes, money is the only factor keeping the dream from happening in the form of startup costs/etc. However, giving the right timing and focus on the other ingredients above, I believe money will come.

Have you ever seen the stories of the “stay at home mom” who has an idea and puts her entire focus on making it happen and she ends up turning a simple idea into a fortune? The mom has turned her life around without the money ingredient. She applied the other key factors and focused entirely on making something happen. Money eventually came. There are many stories such as this. People have found a way to change their lives, but only if they try. Not just try, but give everything they have to make it happen. They BELIEVE they will succeed. They truly believe that everything they do is working towards their goal of achieving the life in which they are working at something they love doing.

I’m not saying that you have to work for yourself to love what you do either. There are many jobs in the world that you can absolutely love what you are doing while working for someone else. However, even for these individuals who have found their calling working for others, I will bet you they can immediately give you a list of what they do not like in their current position. I would place a bet that management would appear on almost every list. The job is great, but management is not. But, it’s a tradeoff they are willing to make because of their love for what they are doing.

Even in the above situation, the individual worker would be better off working for himself because he is making a tradeoff. But you may say that we cannot all work for ourselves. We can’t have 250 million sole proprietorships. No, we can’t and I agree. That is where the statement from Bill comes into play. Work does suck. It sucks because you are doing something you don’t truly love and you are doing it for someone who likely does not reward you appropriately for your effort. If that isn’t the definition of work sucks I’d like to see a better one. Are the rest of us destined to work in these jobs while only a small fraction of us succeed at making a living doing what we love? Sad to say, but given our current and past job and market climates, I don’t think anything will change in our near future.

Our capitalist economy prides itself on one thing, profitability. To achieve profitability, most companies depend on workers being highly efficient and productive while at the same time, not being paid what they are worth. This tradeoff is where the company makes their money. Get more out of the worker, but trickle very small portions of the rewards down to them. Are you currently in such a job? More than likely, but so are the rest of us. Very few of us will realize what it’s like to live a life doing what it is we love doing. We are “forced” to spend the majority of our able years doing something for someone else to support our families. Yes, it is an honorable and necessary thing to do, but is it right that we are “throwing” the greatest portion of our lives away when our time could be better spent?

We know everyone cannot achieve the dream of doing whatever they love because like I said, there cannot be 250 sole proprietors and have a successful business market. Where does that leave us? It leaves us with the knowledge that for the greatest percentage of us, we are left to work in positions where we are likely to think that “work sucks.” This can be changed. Work, which you do not truly love, does not have to suck. To accomplish this, we need better management. We need better employee treatment. We need the wealth to be shared fairly within each business. While computer programming may not be your true love, if you are treated with respect and given your appropriate human and monetary rewards, you will not believe work sucks even though your true love may be farming. At that point, work is a means to an end, one that you are not throwing your life away at, one that does not remove your happiness and imposes stress during your hours off the job.

I will agree with Bill in the movie that for the majority of our society, work does suck. But, I place the blame on those we work for, not the job itself. Every job can be made satisfactory, it’s how we are treated that makes work suck. Some people are able to leave this world behind completely and move forward in a business they truly love, but they are the life lottery winners. We all have an opportunity at it, but the practical reality is everyone cannot win. Works sucks, but it doesn’t have to.

Through the years, I have been through all the incarnations of movie rental. When I was a young kid, my family began by renting a VCR and movies from a local video store. Yes, back then, you could actually rent the player because the technology was just taking root. You could purchase memberships to local video clubs which allowed you to easily rent movies and enjoy whatever movie you wanted to watch at that time without having to own a complete library. Video stores popped up everywhere. The ability to rent a movie and bring it home was a major advance in entertainment because during that period of time, cable television was not everywhere, satellite television was in its infant stages and for the most part, people only had a few channels available to watch. Video rental was an entire new arena for home entertainment, and affordable.

Over the years, DVD took over as the format of choice for video format and rental. Laserdisc was in there but it quickly died. Thousands of “brick and mortar” stores arrived in the version of large retail chains and mom and pop stores. Hollywood Video, Blockbuster, Movie Gallery, and many others appeared in most every town, sometimes two or three. Along with the physical movie rental businesses, the online movie rental business eventually appeared. Netflix and Blockbuster are two of the most well known. Wal-Mart tried to enter the arena but chose to outsource their product to one of the established online rental companies. So here we are, 25-30 years after the appearance of VHS and the business of renting movies.

At this point, renting movies is a commodity and there is very little profit margin in renting a movie. The brick and mortar stores have long since been under pressure and their ability to turn profits has basically been disappearing. The mom and pop video rental stores have long since disappeared and left only the large rental chain companies. Even the large chains have realized their time is limited. Renting a movie has become far too simple and easy and there are limited additional services they can provide outside of renting movies from their stores. People still want to rent movies though, the question is, how are they going to do it?

With the internet reaching almost every household and high-speed internet reaching more and more of our society, eventually rentals of movies will take place via the internet and delivered via bits and bytes to the persons home and stored on a hard drive for viewing. We are currently in a transition. We still need the physical disk rental sites in the meantime to allow for home entertainment. Storage may not even be an option in the future as streaming video may be the rental of choice. But, that’s the future, where are we now? This is where the RedBox comes into play. People are creatures of habit and they are always looking for ways to save time. What happens if we place a kiosk of newly released movies at business sites where people frequent on a regular basis? On top of that, make the price appealing and create a product with ease of use in mind. That is the RedBox.

Most people may notice the RedBox kiosks at their local McDonald’s. However, Wal-Mart has recently signed an agreement to place these kiosks in nearly every one of their stores. Wal-Mart and McDonald’s are two of the most trafficked businesses in our communities. That is a great target for their product. No longer do you have to have a membership to a store or make a special trip to the video store. No longer do you have to wonder if the video is available because you can check and rent online. The process is so simple and easy. While you are out and about eating or shopping, stop by the kiosk, pick out a few movies, swipe your card and off you go. You can’t get any simpler than that.

Well, the online rental companies seem to be easier don’t they? Maybe easier in the fact that the movies show up in your mail, but not as cheap. I was a member of the online rental companies for a while and overall, it was a great experience. However, there was no way I could rent enough movies to make the price of the movie $1 plus 6-10 cents in tax over the month due to the membership fees. At the RedBox, EVERY movie is $1 whether you rent 1 or 30. The RedBox has the ease of use of online rental plus the fact that it’s cheaper. How can you beat that? If the online company cannot beat that model, how can the brick and mortar companies beat it? They have to pay costs ranging from employee salaries to building leases to utility bills. How can any competing movie rental business possibly compete with the RedBox model?

They can’t. Over the near future, the brick and mortar video rental companies will have to alter their business plans and you have seen some of them already doing so. They have a brand name established so that’s a plus. These companies need to find new services to offer which will replace their losses in store video rental and membership fees. To quote some numbers from VideoBusiness.com, for the 12 month period starting in June 2006, 11 million movies were rented from RedBox locations. With the arrival of thousands more RedBox kiosks throughout the country, that number has been far exceeded now. The simplistic nature of the kiosk has completely revamped how physical video rental is done at this time. Of course, it will eventually be replaced by other forms of delivery removing the physical nature, but currently, it is the best video rental business model available.

I’m sure there are other product lines where new business models can effectively change their entire market. Can you think of any potential methodology changes resulting in cheaper prices and also create time savings for the consumers involved? Think about where people spend the majority of their time and I’m sure there is something in that model that can be changed to become more efficient. How do you think most service companies get off the ground? They find an issue in a consumer’s life and exploit the issue by saving the consumer time and effectively charging less. Valvoline anyone?

Yes, it was a horrible movie. If you have read my review about “Balls of Fury,” throw this one right along with it. Not only that, but it was one hour and forty minutes of torture for one big laugh that lasted about 60 seconds of the movie. Some of the supposed funny “shenanigans” were absolutely not funny. I’m a pretty lenient guy, but this movie should not have seen the light of day. If you can believe me, I AM being lenient in my review. If you wish to put your tastes to the test, be my guest, go rent the movie and I’ll be the first in line to pat you on the back and share your pain. Anyway, what insight do I have to offer from watching this movie? Was there a special line or character or scene that warranted some in depth thinking or a view from an alternative perspective? Nope. Not a one. But, that won’t stop me from writing an article on it.

“Drillbit Dumb” did have something I can write an article about… bullies. Everyone has experienced a bully in their life at some point or another. Some may even be experiencing them in their adult life right now. Bullies are everywhere and they are hard to deal with. During our school years, we had our daily dealings with people physically bigger than us, cooler than us, or smarter than us. During our adult years, we have the same issues. However, during adult life, bullies resort to different methods to bully those around them. They utilize manipulation, lies, and sometimes friendship among other things, to get what they want. Bullies pushed people around in school and they continue to do so in adult life. I’m sure you know a bully or two in your life, how do you deal with them? Do you let them slide by and get what they want because you don’t want to enter into a conflict? Is it easier just to allow them to satisfy their selfish needs in order to go about your day a bit easier? Sure, a lot of people do this and it makes the day go by. Nobody likes conflict and we all like easy days.

Is that the right thing to do? In the end, if we do not confront the situation, we are only supporting and extending the bully’s way of life. People should not succumb to the bully’s desires just because it makes their lives easier. Bullies deserve to be put into their place. Their place of course isn’t any better than ours. We need to short circuit their ability to control others. Without control, they lose any effective power they may have. If you take away their “power,” they are nothing more than an individual crying for personal attention. Without manipulation, lies, and their version of friendship, they have nothing to utilize over their prey. They are nothing more than a loud mouthed jerk. How many of those do you know?

I think that at some point in time, we are all bullies. We try and force people that we know to do something we want because we believe we have the upper hand. We have the tools to manipulate people, we have the information to twist any way we wish, and we also have our version of friendship to utilize as a crutch when necessary. When was the last time you played the pity card to get someone to do something? Guess what, you were being a bully. You were manipulating someone to do something you wanted. When was the last time you brought up a past deed you helped with to “force” your friend to help you? Bully. When was the last time that you knew that your friend would do something for you because you could leverage your friendship and “make” them do it? Once again, you’re a bully.

Bullies are all around us and we are all bullies at some point in time. We throw our weight around trying to make people do what we want because we are basically selfish. Some bullies just choose to throw their weight around different and create public displays. Others do it more internally but is there any difference? They are both accomplishing the same thing, just in a different manner. Is one easier to say no to than the other? I think so. I think the quiet bully who manipulates and uses friendship is much harder to say no to because we will feel like we were used and betrayed by our friend. A physical bully offers the likelihood of physical harm in some manner but usually they won’t go that far. The physical bully usually falls into the “bark is worse than the bite” category. They utilize fear mostly as their weapon of choice.

So, how many bullies exist in your life? Do you have any friends, family, or coworkers who fall into the bully category? I’m sure you do. If you sit back and really think about it, how many bullies do you really have in your life? I would think we all have quite a few. Each and every one of us has been trained to be a bully. Either through our environment or way of life, we can all be a bully at any given time. However, it is up to us to choose not to be a bully. There will always be bullies in our lives, but we should try our best to make sure that we are not one of them.

Now, let’s talk about what the title is about. As always, the movie review topic comes from a scene or conversation from the movie. This is no different. In the movie, there was a saying as follows: “Don’t let money raise your kids.” It really wasn’t pivotal to the movie in any major way and it wasn’t repeated. It did however offer some basic groundwork for some of the dramatic sequences of the movie. No, I won’t give it away and ruin it. Everyone knows a comedy always has some sort of dramatic twist to tie things together in the end. So, we are talking about moneysitting, the act of allowing your wealth to raise your kids. You may be thinking about nannies and high priced private schools or whatever, but moneysitting doesn’t only apply to the wealthiest of our society.

Of course, the simplest and most easily targeted parents supporting moneysitting are wealthy people. They spend their money on nannies for their children’s everyday needs and care. They spend money to send their kids to special, private schools where they can receive the “best” education possible. Wealthy people even send their kids off for months at a time so that they can become “educated” and “well rounded.” Does that even remotely sound like parenting? I guess it depends on what you believe parenting to be. Do you believe parenting is buying the best environment for a child or do you believe parenting involves you personally providing the environment for a child? Of course I believe that parenting involves the parent’s intimate interaction with children and not a replacement that money can buy.

Paid stand-ins cannot ever replace the involvement of the mother and father in children’s lives. The bonds that can be built and maintained are one thing, the feelings of being wanted and cared for is entirely another. A child can grow up in an environment without interaction with their father and mother but their minds and heart eventually need an answer to the question of “were they wanted…” Of course, without the necessary time spent nurturing and loving, the intimate bonds will not exist and resentment will enter the relationship. How can trust and honesty exist when there is no groundwork for it to exist and grow upon? Children REQUIRE the attention and dedication of their father and mother. From the very first day until the very last breath of the parent, parental attention is necessary.

Ok, that’s fine and understandable. Rich people have different perspectives on life and they “parent” different than “normal” people. We are the normal people right? Ok, let’s take a look at how we normal people parent our children. Most of us spend the majority of our time working and commuting to work and have very little time to spend alone with our families. If our children are a little older, we spend time running back and forth to school functions, sports games and practices, and many other responsibilities we have to take care of as adults. What time does this leave us for our family and children? Not a whole lot. How many of us actually spend dinner with everyone at the same table? How many of us are lucky enough to have both parents still married and home at the same time? How many of us go our separate ways when we are at home and have a basic acquaintance relationship with our family which lives under the same roof?

Our so called “normal” lives don’t sound all that conducive to parenting does it? For the most part, no it doesn’t. Where does moneysitting come into play here? How many people use the television as a babysitter? How many people allow their children to spend play days in some other home or institution? I’m not saying that some of this is a problem. I am saying that a lot of this is a problem. The wealthy spend money to send their children away and hire strangers to care for their children. Normal people spend money on cheaper items that do the same thing. Strangers in other households have more contact with our children than we do. People such as Barney, Spongebob, and Dora take care of our children at home rather than a nanny. They are just simple, and cheaper, replacements for parenting.

Parenting takes a lot of time, energy, and effort. Where do we find that? That’s a very important problem and for some, there isn’t a simple answer. Our responsibilities for our families require that we have to earn an existence to support them. That responsibility may undermine every single thing that we try to do as parents. We must try and find balance in our parenting duties. We must find a way to bring order back to our lives. Try to focus on having dinner with everyone at the table once a week, then twice a week, and so on. Try to focus on having a family viewing of a movie after dinner once a week, twice a week, and so on. Try to focus on spending individual time with your children for an hour or two a week and increase as you go. Children will respond with their parent’s newfound involvement in their lives. They welcome attention and acceptance and they will never again wonder if they are wanted.

Parents must spend time with their children. Stop allowing the ease of moneysitting do your job for you. It will be hard to reverse the tides, but it can be done. You will enjoy the time investment in more ways than one. Your children will also benefit from your dedication to family. Just start small, work what you can in and then try and expand your boundaries. Begin to make time for the most important aspects of being a family, parenting. Having a baby does not make you a “parent.” Most everyone can create a baby, but it takes much more to raise and nurture it through parenting and love. Return to our true human nature and build relationships with our children. In turn, our life will become better and our children will have a well cared for relationship with their parents.

I can honestly say I have never sat down and written down my bucket list. I’m pretty sure the majority of us fall into this category. It can be saddening to think about the remaining time we have on earth and become a depressing process. However, that is completely opposite of what the process is trying to produce. The creation of a bucket list is a process to bring into focus the necessity to do now, not later. We are never guaranteed another breath. Our next hour may be our last, our next week may never exist, or our next 10 years may just be a wish never spoken. How many of us are living for today and not tomorrow? Are we doing what we can to accomplish the goals on our bucket list or are we waiting? What are we waiting for, more time? We all know that’s not going to happen. I put myself in the category of waiting. I rationalize that at some point in the future, I’ll have the time, money, and energy to accomplish all the things I wanted to do through my life. Sometime, I’ll be able to do it.

That sometime however may never come. For the majority of us, I would say that sometime never comes. We proceed through our lives, waiting for the right time to begin living. Are we actually living or simply existing? I know I’ve said this before in a past article, but it is a very serious question. How important do you view the next few hours of your life? Is it time that you just have to get through or is it time that you can utilize to make the world around you a better place? While the bucket list for you may include many things that are self serving and downright selfish, other portions of the bucket list could actually be items that serve the greater good. Initially, each of our bucket lists will be filled with things WE want to do or accomplish. But that only goes so far. Over time, the lists will be filled with items that help others, serve the community, or create joy for others. There was a simple portion of the movie dedicated to this proposition. Two questions are asked: “Have you experienced joy in your life?” and “Did your life bring joy to others?” We all initially aspire to bring joy to our lives. Joy makes us happy and our bucket list will be filled with items to satisfy that need.

However, question number two is very important also. As you read this, has your life up until this point brought joy to others? If not, then your bucket list needs to change. With or without a written bucket list, we are all living one. The items on it may not be something as great as visiting Egypt and seeing the precious ancient history there, but they may be something as small as saving your money to buy the latest television you want. If you review your current bucket list, is it really making you happy? Or, is it actually taking away the time you have on earth away from the more important things in your life? Saving money for the latest gadget or item that makes you personally happy may be better spent purchasing something for your family. Sure, it may not satisfy that “me first” mentality, but in the end, the joy you bring to your family will live longer than any product can ever hope to deliver. I’ll also admit that my bucket list needs to change. I have far too many items that only serve me. Sure, they make me feel good when accomplished, but for how long?

How long do we feel good when we accomplish something self serving? Not long. It’s the equivalent of a sugar rush. We reach the pinnacle of achievement and we immediately turn to what’s next. Where is the next step, what else can we do, or what challenge can we focus upon now? Self serving bucket lists are one of the major issues we face as we live our lives. Can we turn this around and start creating lists that focus more on bringing joy to others? Sure we can. Do we want to? The simple answer is yes of course, but which direction is society headed? We are more and more self serving and individualistic. Society says no, we do not want to bring joy to others. Joy is our own. We make our own joy and deserve it. In turn, our bucket lists are about satisfying our own personal needs and wants. If everyone’s lists only focus upon themselves, how can you ever answer question number two with an emphatic yes? We can’t.

The two questions are really one question. It boils down to question two. If you bring joy to others with your life, your life will in turn be joyful. It’s that easy. It IS that simple. Focus your bucket list on bringing joy to others through your life. Not only will you fill your life with abundant joy, but you will never be left wondering “where did all the time go?” Live life with joy and bring joy to others and you will never be left with any regrets that most bucket lists are filled with at the end of our journeys. Never again wait, focus upon living now. Don’t wait for the next time, make that time now. Start living and stop existing. I’ll wad up and throw away my selfish bucket list and I challenge you to do so also. Joy through living and helping others, that’s the true bucket list.