Personal illness in the form of cancer not only carries life threatening absoluteness with it, but it also teeters on the edge of destroying your emotional being and tests your spiritual being to the very end. Yes, it is “one” of the worst things that can happen to a person, but is it the absolute worst thing that can happen? Elizabeth is a proud mother of four. Anyone who is a parent or primary caregiver for children knows the worst thing is not personal trauma or tragedy. The absolute worst thing that can happen to someone in my opinion is for someone you love to experience personal trauma or tragedy.

Be it a child, a spouse, a brother, a sister… when they experience pain and are afflicted with disease or other life threatening event, our hearts break. Our personal will is tested because we cannot cure the issue. As humans, we feel like we must fix things. Sometimes, things cannot be fixed. What Elizabeth is facing is one of the worst things imaginable because she has been forced to deal with mortality on a personal physical, emotional, and spiritual level. But, she is in control. She can control her reactions to the situation while not being in physical control of the spreading cancer.

Ask anyone who truly cares for another person if they would switch places with their loved one to take away the pain and they will answer yes. The worst thing that can happen in our lives is to be reduced to simple bystanders as someone we love faces their mortality. Children passing away before their parents and spouses, parents, brothers and sisters, or loved ones passing are the worst things that we can experience.

Everyone has their worst nightmare, but the absolute nature of death creates a sense of finality even the non-spiritual fear. Knowing the overwhelming internal strife facing death brings the worst thing a loved one can experience is the suffering of a loved one and not being able to “help.”

Hoda didn’t say anything wrong, she was thinking out loud and from an outsider’s perspective, we tend to forget the relationships with loved ones and focus on the individual and their self needs. From that perspective, it is the worst thing that could happen because we are thinking about the individual and not the relationships. Ask Elizabeth and I’m sure she will concur that she would much rather be in this situation than have one of her children face this or even her husband. Love cannot be measured when it’s true.

What do you think? Do you have a relationship in your life that you would sacrifice your own for and assure the well being of another? I hope that you do, I know I have several.

That is the premise of the story as tragic as it is. The problem I have is what happened afterwards. Of course the mother was arrested for child endangerment and she pled guilty to the charges. Custody of the child now belongs with the grandmother. What consequences does a guilty plea draw in this case? How about zero jail time and one year of probation with an added requirement of submitting to “scrutiny” by the local drug rehab center to deal with her marijuana “issues.”

I am all for not breaking up families and doing our utmost to preserve the integrity of the family, but sometimes, things just need to be done to protect our children from their parents. It’s sad yes, but it’s a reality. Why did the judge decide that the young mother did not need jail time as part of her transgression? He believes her “evidence of remorse” was enough to outweigh her need for jail time.

Unless the criminal is a psychopath or sociopath, they ALL display remorse… some more than others, but even the absolutely insane criminal can even fake remorse. I’m not saying she was faking by any means, I’m sure she was absolutely distraught by her mistake which could have taken the life of her child. However, the one person in charge of the well being of the child endangered the life of that child as a result of her actions. Mistake or not, mistakes sometimes bring dire consequences because of the results of those mistakes.

In this case, the child almost DIED! She had better show an overabundance of remorse. What other kind of reaction to this situation would be acceptable? A simple “I’m sorry” or “I’ll be a better parent” would never be good enough. This isn’t a case of forgetting to sign your child up for summer baseball league. This is a mistake that almost took a life.

The judge in this case is being far too lenient in my opinion. Maybe all of our criminals should take this “remorse” defense into account. Plead guilty, but make sure you cry your eyes out and try and turn your life around because hey, if you’re sorry, that’s good enough right? Accident or not, mistake or not, wrong time and wrong place maybe, but you still must pay for your mistakes under such drastic circumstances.

So, with all things being relative, this particular case makes several crimes below it much more “palatable.” Why should people receive a speeding ticket if they are sorry? Why should someone be arrested for assaulting someone if they made a mistake and shook hands afterward? Why should someone who steals a shirt from the store be arrested if they are too poor to buy it but are very sorry they have resorted to such measures? I’m sure you understand. If you can almost kill your own child by your own neglect and not face any real punishment, what crimes under that theoretical line are deemed ok by being “remorseful?”

Remorse is a guarantee for any rational wrongdoer with or without punishment. But sometimes, punishment is necessary because of the gravity of the situation. The mother received the equivalent of a “time out” in this situation. She deserved her consequences and she pled guilty, case closed.

Citation: http://www.foxnews.com/

First off, I have run across an article involving a man returning a pair of shoes and a not so welcomed revelation afterwards. The man purchased the shoes and subsequently found a cheaper pair of shoes later. Doing what any rational consumer would do, he returned the higher priced shoes and saved himself some money. However, after returning the product and leaving the store, he examined his return receipt. On that receipt, there was a line to identify the customer. The receipt states: CUST: DUMB N-Word. Of course the “n-word” was printed out… but in an effort to be at least tactful in the face of a politically correct world, I won’t print it out.

Wow, seriously? Sure, racism cannot be completely wiped out but really, how sweet must this customer service representative be? People are amazing sometimes. Let’s hope the employee was fired and removed from their post. It should be a fairly simple procedure.

Next up, I found a story involving a couple of toddlers playing on the roof of a building. Not a single story building, but one about 30 feet tall. A neighbor took a picture of the toddlers playing near the edge of the roof and stated that they even sat on the edge. It’s a pretty simple case of child neglect and horrible parenting but the tragic part of the story involves one of the mothers. One mother, who was working and going to school, left her child with her sister to care for while she was out. Her sister also has a toddler so it worked out well. However, while babysitting, the sister and a friend went to the roof to smoke and forgot to lock the door, allowing the children access to the roof.

Upon learning of this situation, law enforcement was called in and the sister was arrested and both children were taken into protective custody. I understand the need to take the sister’s child into protective custody, but to take the child of the mother who had thought she was doing the right thing by leaving her child in the care of another adult? It’s not her fault the babysitter made a mistake is it? I don’t understand the reasoning unless she was a part of the inappropriate care being given to the child.

Finally, the last story is from another country so it’s not like the United States has a stranglehold on oddball news. In Australia, a grandmother was fined $30,000 for calling her in-law a pedophile. The remark is of course slanderous if not true so the person filed a complaint and won. However, only four people (including two children) overheard the remark which came during a dispute about child access. I understand the need to protect citizens from slander, but what family hasn’t entered into a name calling contest at one point or another?

I’m thinking every family on the planet would be millionaires if we all followed the legal precedent set above. Here’s the story from the judge, “The making of an allegation of pedophilia, in the context of a dispute of access and custody, is like pouring oil onto a fire. It caused the plaintiff a great deal of anxiety and concern. ” Well, $30,000 for a “great” deal of anxiety and concern… I sure hope nobody calls him any other bad names. He might just turn into a shriveled mass of human flesh from the bullies in his life.

These stories were all on the front page of Fox News today. Of course there were other outrageous stories on the site and CNN’s website was littered with similar content. Is there any real news out there anymore? Are we too “stupid” these days to want and ask for real news? How do these types of stories end up on the national news media sites? They are news, but they are local news only. The only thing these stories accomplish is to promote that “survival of the stupid” is in fact, a reality.

Citation: http://www.foxnews.com/

My question on that survey is what was the other 25% thinking? I can only hope that they wanted a more conservative speed chosen than 80 mph… Ford answers the 80 mph limitation with the following response, “Ford arrived at the 80 mph limit even though freeway speed limits are lower in most states because it wanted to leave a margin in case an unusual situation arises.” I agree on that point. So let’s just assume that the “objecting” parents to the technology only wanted to see a lower speed limit chosen because if they objected to the other safety features, I may begin to question their regard for their child’s safety at all.

Of course the parents like these features, but how did the youth take to the new technology “improvements?” Let’s just say they were as equally unexcited about it as the parents were excited. 67% of the youth don’t like the technology and feel that it shows a level of distrust their parents have in them. One 16 year old said, “I wouldn’t want my parents to have that much control over how I’m driving. If your parents are holding your hand, you’re never going to learn.” I tend to agree on certain aspects of learning while growing up. We all must face our own trial and errors to mature and find our boundaries. However, there are certain areas of life that need tempering to allow for our youth to actually survive until they can adequately determine the ramifications of their actions.

Driving a vehicle is one of those situations in my opinion. Too many of our youth are set upon our highways with the mindset that they are ultra prepared for anything. They believe they are smarter, faster, and possess quicker reflexes to deal with any impending accident or disaster. Nothing can change the fact that a teenager knows everything… That is until a terrible automobile accident occurs and they are reduced to a shattered, shaking, crying mess trying to explain how fast things happened, how they didn’t see the other person, how they have only had one drink, and the list can go on forever.

We have all been there and if you can’t admit the failings of your youth as an adult, then you haven’t truly grown up. At times, we are our own worst enemy. We truly believe we are in control and know everything when it comes down to it. It takes an event in our lives or maturity to explain to us different. These safety measures are going to save hundreds, if not thousands of future lives as the technology is placed in more vehicles. Wrap your mind around this, “More than 5,000 U.S. teens die each year in car crashes. The rate of crashes, fatal and nonfatal, per mile driven for 16-year-old drivers is almost 10 times the rate for drivers ages 30 to 59, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.”

These simple safety additions can have a great impact on those statistics. Sure, our youth will have a childish outburst and throw a fit, but that is easy to deal with when their lives are at stake. Another question I have is why now? Why not 5 years ago, or 10, or even 20? Computer chips have been in vehicles for decades now and the concept of governing speed limits and seat belt notifications have been around for even longer. Were we just simply ok with our youth having accidents and “learning” from their mistakes? Or, is it because insurance costs have skyrocketed in the last few years and as parents, we can barely afford our children to drive?

The car manufacturers may even have statistics showing the cost impacts of adding such features to vehicles would make them “unsellable.” We were never asking for tanks to be built to protect our children, but we were asking for simple safety mechanisms. How many lives are acceptable versus costs? I am excited that Ford has implemented this technology and I hope that more manufacturers will join them. I think it would also be a great idea if someone could “retrofit” the concepts into the older vehicles because we know, not every parent will be purchasing new vehicles for their children.

Citation: http://www.foxnews.com/

Ages are arbitrary numbers, we all have birthdays. But, maturity of the mind occurs much differently for all of us. Were there in depth studies performed by our previous generations determining that a young mind can withstand such responsibilities we have associated with our current age delineations? Our past generations were thrust into society and given important responsibilities at much younger ages. The fact is they were ready for the luxuries reached by turning 16, 18, and 21. Their minds were trained and ready to deal with the ramifications resulting from their newfound “rights.” Can you honestly say the same about our current generations? Yes, we like to think we are “smarter” than our previous generations, but are we mentally ready for what young adulthood brings with it?

Research currently supports the fact that a human brain does not fully mature until the mid-20’s. Fully mature is a subjective statement if we are talking about common sense and decision making of course. However, the human brain, scientifically, reaches a mature state biologically at that time. An immature mind does not have the experience level associated with it or growth to rationally expect mature decisions from it. We are not even throwing in any side effect inducing substances in the equation that will further dilute the ability of the mind to think at this point. Our minds just do not develop until later in life. Much later than the 16, 18, or 21 ages we allow our younger generations to experience full adulthood responsibilities and luxuries.

I know there are those of us (probably 99% of us) who like to think we were smarter than the average bear and we deserved the rights we received when we reached the age milestones. If everyone is smarter than everyone else, where are the less than smarter people? Self delusion experts have some great research in that area alone. On average, what we believe is just not true when relating to those around us. There are those of us who are ready for the responsibilities of turning 16, 18, or 21, but for each one that is, there are many more that are not. The ones who can withstand the pressures and issues do not have completely mature minds, but they have something else. They have an environment around them supporting their decision making, they have something within separating them from the other immature minds around them, and they are mentally prepared to handle themselves even though they do not have completely developed mature minds.

Let’s focus on a single subject that has recently come up. Several colleges, about 100 actually, are trying to lower the legal drinking age to 18. Primary reasoning for lowering the age is that “current laws actually encourage dangerous binge drinking on campus.” They even mention that “this is a law that is routinely evaded … It is a law that the people at whom it is directed believe is unjust and unfair and discriminatory.” Well great, since it’s a tough law to enforce and somehow it discriminates against young people, getting rid of it is the answer right? How much more completely wrong can that opinion be? The age limit and enforcement laws are in place to keep young people safe, not to hurt them. Adding a mind, mood, and decision altering substance to the equation that already includes an immature mind, only adds to potential issues.

If the age factor is creating a binge problem, then theoretically, shouldn’t the age limit be removed all together? I mean if the age is 18, wouldn’t 16 year olds be bingeing because of age discrimination? Let’s be fair to everyone. Next time you buy that six-pack, feel free to share it with your 14 year old, or 13, or 12, it doesn’t stop. The argument to lower the drinking limit has been around for a long time. It’s because people think they are ready for adulthood at an age when they aren’t even ready to take care of themselves. If you cannot take care of yourself, on your own, with your own job, your own money, and your own willpower, guess what, you’re not an adult. Going to college is not the equivalent of making you an adult.

I’ve heard all the good arguments too. I can join the army and shoot people but I can’t drink? I can vote for the next President but I can’t buy a beer? I can get married for the rest of my life but I can’t legally drink that Jell-O shot. Maybe they have a case. Maybe those ages and luxuries should be looked at. Maybe 18 should be 21 and maybe 21 should be 25? Wait, that’s the wrong way, we want it lower so we can all do what we want to do earlier and more often. Personally, I think our younger generations are at such a low experience and mind maturity level that moving the driving age to 18 is feasible and moving everything that comes with turning 18 to age 21 sounds like a good idea also. That will never happen, but I will guarantee that our youth would be better served.

You may think I’m just some old fogey making up rules to limit the youth’s fun and rights. Wrong. As I look back on my life, I carried great school grades, displayed great responsibility during school, and earned a college degree. I can honestly admit during those years, I thought I knew everything. I was a complete adult and I could handle everything thrown at me. How wrong I was. Now, in my mid-30’s, I can look back at my past self and thank the Lord that I am still alive to experience true adulthood. Comparing who I am now to who I was then, who I was then was completely insane. People like to believe they are ready for the world at 16, 18, and 21, but they are not. We are still training to become adults well into our 20’s and we must realize this. Moving the luxuries and responsibilities some adults cannot even manage to a lower age can only result in disaster within our society today. Our 21 year olds can hardly manage their lives with alcohol, what do you think a generation of 18 years olds will do? Let’s get this party started. Shots on the house bartender, I have to get up early tomorrow so I don’t miss my bus.

Citation: http://www.cnn.com/

Personally, I think the propensity for violence in our society is near 100%. I’m speaking about rational, functional individuals living amongst us. We are ALL born with the “genes” of violence within us, men and women alike. It’s in our nature, specific genes or not. Our current crop of scientists believes they can pinpoint each individual gene, or group of genes, responsible for everything. The Human Genome Project has shown great promise when working towards counteracting disease and trying to inhibit their impact on people but are we looking too deep into this equation? Maybe one day they can find the gene that makes men believe they are always going the right direction even without a map. Better yet, maybe we can find the gene and eliminate it from our children before birth that causes teenagers to think they know everything when in fact, they do not.

Given enough time, money, and human subjects, every “study” will produce results which can form some semblance of a “ground breaking” statement. Why exactly would we be looking for a “violence gene?” Are we looking to weed out the bad apples from society? Are we trying to find out who would be best suited for military careers? Are we trying to “correct” them before they become violent? Why do we believe we must fix everything? Finding a violence gene in humans is like finding out babies cry when they are hungry. To only assume that 1% of our nation has these genes is ludicrous. Every person has the ability to be violent. Most are able to say no to their nature because of some of the following: They are rational. They have moral and ethical values. They have religious faith deeming violence is wrong. They know right from wrong. They are mentally stable.

We live in a free society where most people are rewarded for being non-violent. However, that does not mean that 99% of us are born without the propensity for violence and have dormant “violent genes” residing within our genetic makeup. According to the study, some triggers which results in violence from these genetic anomalies are: stress, family problems, failing school, and low popularity. They cannot be serious can they? Studying 20,000 young men resulted in the profound findings you just read? Oh, and the study also found that if the family eats dinner together on a regular basis, the propensity for violence returned to almost zero. Yes, yet another groundbreaking insight into human behavior.

While I am all for studying people and how our genetics impact our lives and health, studies such as these are time fillers, money wasters, and gibberish. People who are prone to violence do not need a blood test to show the world they need help. They produce specific knowledge to those who know them. People who are more apt to “snap” display social characteristics throughout their life both during their younger years and during adulthood that differentiate them from the people who can readily control their violent nature within. I’m sure you know a few individuals who fit this bill, we all do. Personally, I know I am prone to violence as there are some people in my past who can attest to that fact. But, now that I’m older, more mature, and have a very good base of moral and ethical parameters differentiating what is right and wrong, I can control my violent nature and choose to do what’s right and be non-violent.

Right there, ever so subtle, the word “choose” comes into the equation. We, as thinking human beings, have choices to make. We choose to be violent or we do not. Even the most “crazy” individuals make choices. In the end, we are continually searching for reasons to blame our problems on. We, the individual or even society, are never the culprit in what has gone wrong in our lives. It must always be something or someone else’s fault for why we are the way we are and what we do. Accepting that we have choice and choose to do the wrong thing brings about accountability. And with accountability, you must have consequences for action and responsibility. These words carry great weight in our lives. Many people just cannot deal with the ramifications of their choices and return to their violent nature. We are all capable of doing what is wrong just as much as we are at doing what is right.

However, we want something other than ourselves to blame for when we choose to do what’s wrong. We take the accolades and compliments for when we make the right decisions as we have earned them right? But when we are wrong, low and behold, it was a genetic anomaly that was at fault. While I’m sure genetics plays a big part in the formation of who we are and creates “roadblocks” during our development, we become mature, rational adults at some point in our lives. Young people will always act out, some more than others, but trying to place the blame on a genetic sequence is beyond me when violence is in our human nature. Our environment around us also plays a large part in determining who we are. The study of course showed bad environments will “trigger” violence from people “afflicted” by these genes. However, aren’t we all?

I’m not convinced we are born to follow a certain destiny our genes have been imprinted with upon creation and then birth. If we believe our genetics and environment are to blame for every single thing we do, then are we actually thinking individuals or just products of pre-wired destiny? The one thing that separates us from everything else on this planet is that we are rational, thinking beings. When was it ok to start blaming everything else but the one thing at the root of the issue? We make our choices and we must accept the results from those choices. Genetics or not, we are still in control of our decisions, even if we are “pre-disposed” to violence (which we all are). I choose to be non-violent, so can everyone else.

Now, let’s talk about what the title is about. As always, the movie review topic comes from a scene or conversation from the movie. This is no different. In the movie, there was a saying as follows: “Don’t let money raise your kids.” It really wasn’t pivotal to the movie in any major way and it wasn’t repeated. It did however offer some basic groundwork for some of the dramatic sequences of the movie. No, I won’t give it away and ruin it. Everyone knows a comedy always has some sort of dramatic twist to tie things together in the end. So, we are talking about moneysitting, the act of allowing your wealth to raise your kids. You may be thinking about nannies and high priced private schools or whatever, but moneysitting doesn’t only apply to the wealthiest of our society.

Of course, the simplest and most easily targeted parents supporting moneysitting are wealthy people. They spend their money on nannies for their children’s everyday needs and care. They spend money to send their kids to special, private schools where they can receive the “best” education possible. Wealthy people even send their kids off for months at a time so that they can become “educated” and “well rounded.” Does that even remotely sound like parenting? I guess it depends on what you believe parenting to be. Do you believe parenting is buying the best environment for a child or do you believe parenting involves you personally providing the environment for a child? Of course I believe that parenting involves the parent’s intimate interaction with children and not a replacement that money can buy.

Paid stand-ins cannot ever replace the involvement of the mother and father in children’s lives. The bonds that can be built and maintained are one thing, the feelings of being wanted and cared for is entirely another. A child can grow up in an environment without interaction with their father and mother but their minds and heart eventually need an answer to the question of “were they wanted…” Of course, without the necessary time spent nurturing and loving, the intimate bonds will not exist and resentment will enter the relationship. How can trust and honesty exist when there is no groundwork for it to exist and grow upon? Children REQUIRE the attention and dedication of their father and mother. From the very first day until the very last breath of the parent, parental attention is necessary.

Ok, that’s fine and understandable. Rich people have different perspectives on life and they “parent” different than “normal” people. We are the normal people right? Ok, let’s take a look at how we normal people parent our children. Most of us spend the majority of our time working and commuting to work and have very little time to spend alone with our families. If our children are a little older, we spend time running back and forth to school functions, sports games and practices, and many other responsibilities we have to take care of as adults. What time does this leave us for our family and children? Not a whole lot. How many of us actually spend dinner with everyone at the same table? How many of us are lucky enough to have both parents still married and home at the same time? How many of us go our separate ways when we are at home and have a basic acquaintance relationship with our family which lives under the same roof?

Our so called “normal” lives don’t sound all that conducive to parenting does it? For the most part, no it doesn’t. Where does moneysitting come into play here? How many people use the television as a babysitter? How many people allow their children to spend play days in some other home or institution? I’m not saying that some of this is a problem. I am saying that a lot of this is a problem. The wealthy spend money to send their children away and hire strangers to care for their children. Normal people spend money on cheaper items that do the same thing. Strangers in other households have more contact with our children than we do. People such as Barney, Spongebob, and Dora take care of our children at home rather than a nanny. They are just simple, and cheaper, replacements for parenting.

Parenting takes a lot of time, energy, and effort. Where do we find that? That’s a very important problem and for some, there isn’t a simple answer. Our responsibilities for our families require that we have to earn an existence to support them. That responsibility may undermine every single thing that we try to do as parents. We must try and find balance in our parenting duties. We must find a way to bring order back to our lives. Try to focus on having dinner with everyone at the table once a week, then twice a week, and so on. Try to focus on having a family viewing of a movie after dinner once a week, twice a week, and so on. Try to focus on spending individual time with your children for an hour or two a week and increase as you go. Children will respond with their parent’s newfound involvement in their lives. They welcome attention and acceptance and they will never again wonder if they are wanted.

Parents must spend time with their children. Stop allowing the ease of moneysitting do your job for you. It will be hard to reverse the tides, but it can be done. You will enjoy the time investment in more ways than one. Your children will also benefit from your dedication to family. Just start small, work what you can in and then try and expand your boundaries. Begin to make time for the most important aspects of being a family, parenting. Having a baby does not make you a “parent.” Most everyone can create a baby, but it takes much more to raise and nurture it through parenting and love. Return to our true human nature and build relationships with our children. In turn, our life will become better and our children will have a well cared for relationship with their parents.

Sure, our past generations have all followed and engaged in idiotic behavior while growing up (and some during adulthood), but the times have changed. Young people test their limits no matter what day and age. It’s a growth stage most are required to go through on their way to maturity. However, today’s behavior has been altered. No longer are our young people faced with limit testers such as simplistic dares, fighting, racing, or various other “activities.” Today, we see kids pushing the limits like they have never been pushed. The sense of self and preservation of life seem to have taken a distant backseat in their young lives. Peerdiocy reigns amongst their social existence. We have seen an onslaught of television programs, internet videos, and the list can go on, displaying how far people will go to achieve the one true goal peerdiocy looks to satisfy. The root goal is acceptance.

If you have read some of my prior articles, I come back to acceptance quite a bit. Acceptance is the key to the young person’s world. Without acceptance, most will view themselves as outcasts or unworthy citizens. It’s a sad, but true fact. Even during adulthood, acceptance is a major contributor to our personal wellbeing and comfort level. We are social beings and being such, acceptance within the community is of utmost priority. Now, our current day and age seems to have removed any constraints to just how far our young generation will go to fulfill their desires of acceptance. They will succumb to the most outrageous, dangerous, and idiotic suggestions offered by their peers. Our media has done nothing to help the situation. In fact, I believe they promote this behavior because not only does it make millions for them in the form of programming, but it has turned out a few movies to boot. There are several internet sites dedicated to the actions our young people do. Oh, and these sites also pay for content but they are the ones making the money due to advertisement revenue. Outside of the media and online pressure, we also see major pressure from every corner our kids live in.

With the advent of social networking sites online, worldwide peerdiocy has increased. In the past, your local or community peer groups were generally the only people you needed to “satisfy” to become accepted. However, now with social networking online, people are faced with a worldwide peer group. Most adults can’t withstand the pressure of a worldwide peer group looking upon them, how do we think an undeveloped and immature mind can handle the situation? Our young generation is under more pressure than we could ever have imagined during our younger years. While we would engage in idiotic behavior to satisfy our peer groups, we had a very limited arena to satisfy. If we were the most daring of the group, that was our thing. If we were the bully who liked to fight, we were accepted as such. If we liked to race, then people looked at you differently. But, during those years, we were satisfied with the acceptance of our groups and we had limits to just how far we would go. In the end, we cared more about self preservation than acceptance.

Well, that sounds like a pretty simple statement. Of course we cared more about being alive than being accepted. Being accepted and not being alive to “enjoy” it as the alternative doesn’t have much cache now does it? Our new generations appear to have misplaced this very poignant fact. Be alive first, be accepted somewhere down the line. The fear of death or severe injury has been replaced with acceptance in a vast majority of our young people’s lives. They would rather die than be viewed as an outcast. It means THAT much to them. Their worlds revolve around the simple fact that they care more about what other people think about them than what they think about themselves. Peerdiocy is the term describing the situation, but in the end, the individual makes the decision.

Peers have power, but only if you allow it. Idiocy is in all of our young and adult lives, but only to an extent. Once idiocy reaches a point of possible death or severe injury, it has become something else. What you are then dealing with is lunacy. Another word for it is insanity. People have become insanely focused upon receiving acceptance from their peers. They will DO ANYTHING at ANYTIME if it serves their need to prove to their world how far they will go. How far will they go for acceptance? They will readily place their life or health on the line to satisfy the requirements of their peer groups. Sure, there were some people in the past generations who fit this bill, but they were the rare ones. The rare ones these days are the ones who defy their peer groups’ needs and set defined lines in regards to how far they will go in the journey for acceptance.

How do we bring back sanity to peer groups? How can we alter the psychological and physical environment for the younger generation so that peerdiocy doesn’t irreparably harm them? I believe, as with most things, it starts in the home. Parents need to be involved with their children on a personal level. We do not need to be policemen at all times in their lives. We need to be their friends. We do not need to be the judge, jury, and executioner at all times. We need to be their source of support and comfort. We need to be their caregivers. Parents and we imply a very distinct fact. The home NEEDS both the father and the mother to be active in the lives of our young people. If we can nurture a young mind that feeds less upon acceptance and more on truly living, then we can successfully counter the desires that our peer groups force upon us.

Citation: http://www.dictionary.com/

Nothing new here I know. But, it’s another one of those “little things” that grate on my nerves in how our society views certain things. Since the dawn of time it seems manipulation has been one of our greatest tools over other people. Some people are easily manipulated while other people are resistant to being manipulated. What makes any of us different? Do we all go through a period of manipulation during our growth to adulthood and even sometimes our entire life? I think so. Since it is in our nature to be social creatures, we are always in need of acceptance within this society. Some people will disregard this need and live a very lonely life of distrust, hate, and solitude. People are not meant to be alone in our world. So, how do we avoid being manipulated? Sometimes, do we even allow ourselves to be manipulated?

I remember back to my younger years and I fell into both of the above statements. I was manipulated by others and society somewhat unbeknownst to me. I was also manipulated with full knowledge of the fact. Sounds pretty stupid of me doesn’t it? I’m sure if you take a look back in your life, you have allowed someone or some group of people to knowingly manipulate you during your past. Maybe it’s even happening still, I don’t know. Why would anyone knowingly allow other people to manipulate them? It’s an easy answer really. It boils to one thing, acceptance. I’m sure there are all kinds of nice psychological reasons and constructs that try and rationalize why people manipulate and are manipulated, but the simple fact is that we are all looking for acceptance within our society. We want to fit in and sometimes, at any cost to our own personal well being. Why does society have such a power over us, are we giving this power to society?

Yes, I believe that our need for acceptance empowers society over our own decision making abilities at times. Let’s go through an example. There is one right from this commercial. The young boy desperately wants the girl’s attention. He likes her and he wants her to like him. He is looking for her acceptance. His answer to get her affection and attention is to buy her the ice cream. Now, what he does will in fact get him her attention and satisfy his immediate need. However, she is knowingly manipulating him and proves this via the statement of “fish in a barrel.” If she were truly and freely giving him her attention without manipulating him, she would not EVER say such a statement. She KNOWS she has him on an invisible string. She can thus manipulate him because he is looking for her attention and affection. This is manipulation at a very basic level, being taught at a very young age, and being accepted and promoted at a very basic level. This is an example of how our environment promotes certain actions through our lives.

Television and media are prime examples of manipulation at its finest. Most every show or news program or newspaper is an example of manipulation. Sometimes, you can’t even see it. You miss it, because we are so used to it. We are taught to accept manipulation by others. From our youngest stages of thought, we are using and being used. Children are some of the best manipulators. I’m sure all the parents out there can attest to this. Adults have NOTHING on children and their use of manipulation. Think through some of your daily life and try and spot the manipulators in your life. I’m sure you won’t have to think hard or look far. As a note, manipulation doesn’t always have to be done with bad intentions either. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t still manipulation.

What I want for each of us to do is to start going through each day and keep an eye out for our own self. Try and make sure that you are not manipulating others. Start at this point. This will make you think about certain things in a clearer manner. You will begin seeing how other people are blindly manipulating others and subconsciously allowing it. After you have focused on yourself, start focusing on stopping others from manipulating you. You can still receive attention and affection from others without trying to “make” someone give it to you. Yes, you will have to earn it, but earned attention and affection is worth more than a coerced version of it. Seek people that enjoy you for you, don’t seek people who use you for their means to an end. Your life will begin to open up and you will enjoy a far greater state of happiness.

Manipulation as a tool within our society is one of the major issues we face. We need to recognize it within ourselves when we are doing it and also stop it from being done to us. Take the power of making up or own minds back. Do not let such simplistic needs of attention and affection continually lead you around like a puppy on a leash. You are worth more than a manipulator can ever offer you. As I said before, start at the source, you.

Now that we have that out of the way (and I’m not going to spoil the movie for anyone), let’s get into something that piqued my interest during the movie. There was an occurrence in the movie of the dreaded “A” word. If you know what I’m talking about, good for you, I’m sure you have some instant opinion on that subject. If not, the word I’m talking about is “Abortion.” If you are a regular reader of this site, I’m pretty sure you can guess my personal stance on the issue. Just to make it clear, I am vehemently opposed to abortion. I know all the liberal ideology about how it’s the woman’s body and it’s their decision and it’s their right and all the psycho babble that comes with that argument, there is nothing new to the argument and hasn’t been since Roe v. Wade.

My simple proposal to the entire issue is this, replace this particular “A” word with another “A” word. I’m sure you can guess what it is also. Replace Abortion with Adoption. Yes, I agree, it is your body and you have the right to do anything with it you like. Read that statement. Your body is a very big portion of that. What about the life being created within “your body” makes it entirely yours? Why do you have absolute power over its existence or not? Sure, you may not believe it has a soul until birth, or you may not believe it’s alive until its breathing. You may have lots of potential “if” and “until” statements regarding pregnancy. That’s fine and that’s your own path to choose. However, why should the child growing in your pregnancy have to pay the price of its life because you don’t want it? Can’t afford it, can’t handle it, don’t have the room, don’t want to put on weight, not ready, father doesn’t want to help, people will make fun of me, my church will look down upon me, there are thousands if not millions of excuses NOT to have a child. EXCUSES!

There are many families in this world that try every day of their lives for years to have children and cannot conceive. There are many families in this world that have lost their children to diseases or accidents that are looking for a child to help and raise and provide love to. My proposal is simple. If you do not want a child and find yourself pregnant, rather than ending the life of a person who can be loved by wonderful people, save the life of the infant and allow someone to legally adopt. Sounds simple in writing and theory, of course it’s not my body that is going to gain 30 lbs and make my back hurt and make my life turn upside down. I’ll have to agree, it is easy and simple to say and write. I won’t argue that pregnancy is hard, I’ve heard the stories, been around lots of pregnant women (one is my sister who has 5 kids) and they all seem to be ok after 9 months of “torture.” I don’t see any growing segment of crazy mothers out there ranting and raving about how pregnancy has destroyed their lives.

Yes, it’s 9 months of your life that you will have to deal with. But is 9 months so hard to live through if you can provide a family with a lifetime of love and memories? Just because you had an “accident” and don’t want to deal with the circumstances, it doesn’t make it right that you can end the life with a pill or a quick trip to the clinic. Don’t want to get pregnant, guess what, stop playing house and make decisions like mature adults. Sure, there are mistakes and accidents, but as with all mistakes and accidents, we pay the consequences of having done them. If you view a pregnancy as an accident or mistake, don’t make the child pay the consequences for your actions, how fair is that? Pay the consequences yourself and quite possibly, learn a valuable lesson in the process. Maybe you will decide NOT to give the baby up for adoption. Maybe you will change your mind and decide to raise it with your own love in its mother’s arms.

It all comes down to one thing. Love. Do you love enough to keep the child? Do you love enough to work through the pregnancy and provide another family a child to love? Do you love? If you are selfish enough to override love in your life, then abortion is an option according to our current laws. Yes, I said it. Selfish. How else can you explain it? When it comes down to the basic argument of abortion, it means you care more about yourself than a living being within you. It IS that simple.

I may or may not have offended some who have read this and if so, I apologize. You can enter into a mature debate below. I’m not placing blame upon anyone, but I am offering a solution to the matter. Choose adoption over abortion. Create, do not destroy. Love, not hate.